going somewhere?

This train's destination is Cleveland Circle

photograph: (C) AB Troen ~ Last 380 Hours

wooosh she’s near

one step back

click and snap

smiling scraps.

fingers letting go of

closing doors that show no

cares for long goodbyes or bags

forgotten on the borderlines.

windows smudged with hearts and fears

reflecting past too close, too dear.

then coming from the car nearby

is strumming – no more tears, no cry,

which summons like that piper once

to follow waves of joy, of pleasure,

reaching in, relieving deadweight

freeing empty spaces aching.

inhaling, exhaling…

aimlessly aiming.

craving creating.

stuck in chains chaining,

naval chord threatening.

screech screens screams.

swallow – choke.

slow release

here it goes…

open doors.

down

the steps.

felicity?


~ claudia schoenfeld host of Poetics tonight at dVerse ~ Poets Pub, offering song and drinks to lift up spirits and challenges to about trains… this is my entry.

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About Debbie Shahar

My thoughts, fears, feelings... intertwine. They change. I do not sometimes. They too sometimes stay the same. The song in me wants to fly free. The bird has it. I need it. I cannot Let me be. "Nobody heard him, the dead man, But still he lay moaning: I was much further out than you thought And not waving but drowning." (1-4, Stevie Smith, from: Not Waving but Drowning") background image of Gravatar: photographer AB Troen, my youngest brother.

Posted on September 18, 2011, in destination, loneliness, Poetry, trains and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 20 Comments.

  1. This is a fast flowing piece, really gives the feel of being inside and outside a train, noisy, compressed, full of a million vibes, doors opening and shutting to different worlds. Enjoyed it.

  2. sounds like the subway to me

  3. love the pacing of this debbie…you rip it at the begining with short lines to suck us in…windows smudged with hearts and fears is a great texture as well…i enjoyed the ride…smiles.

  4. this reminds me of our fast speed trains with very limited stopping times and automatically closing doors and speed…speed…speed…and also of life as sometimes it feels much the same…it speeds on and i never seem to be ready or sure i’m on the right train and when the doors close – is it better to be outside or inside and is it good or bad to leave behind what is left behind…excellent use of the train as a metaphor deb

  5. Say goodbye when you can as no second chances…

  6. Enjoyed the shape and flow of this piece Debbie.. good capture of the changing rhythms of the train…

  7. I am always hoping that next stop is felicity – I feel the race to get to that stop in this write of yours and in my real life (smiles)

  8. Ah, this swept us away to felicity, hopefully? 🙂

  9. I think you’ve captured claustrophobia although I don’t have it; but there have been a few times when a sequence very nearly like this went through my mind on a plain (circling Denver for 3 hours once; another when landing gear wouldn’t come down). Felicity indeed to have feet on solid ground. Well done.

  10. The pace and diction for this poem where spot on, I raced through and then took a breath so I could read it again.

  11. Thank you Gay and Anna for stopping by, sharing your thoughts. It means a lot to me.

  12. what a cute end to a piece that felt like a train ride from the opening whooosh…

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