Wanting the Flow

(at least one line of breath).
(but with no break). Now I can begin:

I dare not defy the slow flow (hhhhaaaaaa)…
nor the gentle rush of the stream.
It is almost too much for me.
My breathing is shy of the light tttttttt
It does not relax.
Is there an echo out here?
Perhaps I should leave before dark –
when I feel free.

The slow flow.
The rocking calm of rippling waves.
The shushing sound of water.
My fears slip away.

the memory  of     the

the current Too hostile to resist,
tempts me to follow the flow:
“Oh, go. Go!”

I am but a moment away from break-
even wanting
to-go faster-than the slow…  flow… of my madness.
ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss (goes on and on).

**** Kindly Note: This is my very first attempt at writing in response to a prompt. Sheila Moore, hosting at dVerse – Poets Pub, gave the wonderful prompt – water. Thank you for this opportunity. ***


Posted on July 31, 2011, in poem, Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. oh i really like this a lot… love how you worked with line breaks and unusual sound effects – the echo – great – gives the poem another dimension. great job esp. as you mentioned it’s your first time to write in response to a prompt

  2. I am extremely impressed. I love the sound effects and the maddening feel of it all. fear, excitement, a splash of desperation all interwoven. really a great write. thanks so much for giving it a go and come back soon for some more prompts. you did a great job with it! 🙂

    • Debbie Dawnslight

      wow! Thank you. You are so supportive. I was so nervous and you have really made me feel welcome. 🙂

  3. This is an imaginative piece – choc full of interesting touches of flamboyance- this adds character and a sense of play… i loved the final stanza…it really delivered something different
    i loved the descent into madness.

  4. a creative spin to the prompt… i though i was falling along with you….

    i like the words falling and breaking down too

    thanks for sharing this ~

  5. nice…this is hot…the flow is perfect and the sounds incredible…would love to hear this one done spoken word…

  6. cool poem ….loved the effects for the sound of the water ….thank you

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